June 25, 2016

How Not to Be a Gentleman

So a long time ago (eek, it was half a year) I created this post about unladylike characters in period dramas. I promised Miss March per her suggestion that I would create a similar post for the gentlemen of period dramas, and....well, here I am fulfilling that promise. Six months later. -blushes- (Actually, I hardly ever blush, but it's such a period drama-like thing to do.)


Dear Mr. Guppy,
I must put your upbringing into question when I ask--did your mother EVER tell you that it is highly rude—and creepy—and disgusting to stalk a young lady? She has refused you quite plainly and kindly, and yet you hover under lampposts at night, staring at the windows of the house she occupies....I'm sorry, but you simply must stop. (Of course, if you were the handsome hero, we might have more sympathy for you, but your methods of attracting her attention would still be brought into question, so therefore the comparison is retracted.)
Photo: Bleak House 2005, Quote: 'On The Street Where You Live' from My Fair Lady:
Dear Mr. Elton.
I don't care if you are an old married man of 5-and-twenty or 5-and-eighty. To refuse a poor girl a dance practically to her face in the most rude, hypocritical way possible is inexcusable.

Thank goodness for men like Mr. Knightly.
Mr and Mrs Elton.:


Dear Mr. Collins,
If a woman says "no" to your proposal of marriage, I think it best to believe that she truly means "no". Not "maybe", "yes, but I won't admit it", or "I wish to heighten your love by suspense."


ps. Stop waving like a little girl, it's most unbecoming in a man, especially a member of the clergy.


Dear Mr. Wickham,
Practically everything you say is a lie. Just leave the country, please. Go work in the salt mines of Bolivia or something. Just...go away.
What would it be like to date Mr. Wickham from Pride and Prejudice? Find out in Dating Mr. Wickham by Katie Oliver.:

Dear Mr. Preston,
I really don't know what to say to you. You obviously have NO idea of how a gentleman should behave. Not only do you haunt Miss Kirkpatrick with your icy, creepy glare of yours, but you arrange clandestine meetings in the woods with her. IN THE WOODS. This is simply not proper. You obviously have no regards for the reputation of young ladies. Of course, this could undoubtedly call into question Miss Kirkpatrick's regard for her own reputation, but the poor girl only wanted to repay the money she owed you. You really ought to have graciously accepted it and stop acting as if she owed you her hand in marriage because she promised you once a long time ago. You are a revengeful, cruel man. You may have honestly loved her, but your kind of love is twisted and cruel. True, noble love would have made you give her up so that she would be happy instead of tormenting her (and yourself) by a continual pursuit of her.
Iain Glen as Mr. Preston in  Wives and Daughters (1999) I know Mr. Preston wasn't the greatest person, but I liked him mostly because it was Iain Glen who is Scottish and has an amazing accent.:

ps. You should have made it quite clear to that man who assumed you and Miss Gibson were lovers that you and she were indeed not. You injured her reputation by not setting the falsehood to rights.

(This next one is for you, Jessica :))
Dear Mr. Willoughby,
While I don't hate you like I hate some of the villains on this post (see my Sense and Sensibility review for reasons) you really have done some horrid, awful things. Seducing a young girl and abandoning her even when she bears YOUR child....breaking another young girl's heart when you leave her to pursue a wealthy heiress...someone ought to do something horribly traitorous to you. Maybe then you'd see what it's like to be treated how you treat others. You really are perhaps the worst of Jane Austen's villains because you see where you've done wrong...and yet do nothing to correct it. You really should try to emulate heroes like Colonel Brandon, instead of resenting him for being a better man than you are.
John Willoughby:

ps. Don't waste your time thinking of Marianne, she's much better off without you.


Dear Carter,
I...I honestly have no words. You're horrid. There's absolutely nothing to be done about it. I'm sorry.


Dear Mr. Rochester,
Now, you are the hero of your story, and I do like you a lot (especially after you reform) but can I make a small suggestion? Honesty is a great virtue. We women like to be told the truth.
Cough, evenifthetruthisthatyouhaveamadwifeinyourattic. Cough.

I laugh every time I see this....:

Dear Dr. Marshland,
PLEASE do NOT send anonymous valentine's. To anyone. You really need to grow up and realize how your actions affect people...their reputations...their love lives...their sanity.

Dear Mr. Thornton,
Ignore everything that Margaret says about your acting in an un-gentleman like manner. You are quite the gentleman. Just wait patiently. There will come a day when she will look back at you.
Richard Armitage, Mr. John Thornton - North  South directed by Brian Percival (TV Mini-Series, 2004) #elizabethgaskell:


~The End~

29 comments

  1. YES. TO ALL OF THIS. I don't even know which individual things to comment on...just ALL OF THIS is PERFECT. THANK YOU. I sincerely wish these "men" could read this post.

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    1. Haha, thank you so much, Rae! Glad you enjoyed it. :)

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  2. Haha! Yes! Perfect especially for Mr. Collins. :) Those aren't pictures of Freddie, are they? I don't know who Mr. Guppy is... Did you just put the music to the pics because his actions are similar to Freddie's?

    AAAAHHHH! Your comment to Mr. Thorton is absolutely PERFECTION! The. End.

    God bless! :)

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    1. LF4Jesus,
      Haha, thank you! So glad you enjoyed this. :) The photos in that collage are of Mr. Guppy. He is from the 2005 miniseries Bleak House, which is based after a Dickens book. I didn't put the music to the photos, the blog Old Fashioned Charm (http://old-fashionedcharm.blogspot.com/) did. And yes, I think she did because his actions must be similar to Freddie's. :) Whatever the reason, I found it rather funny! :D

      Haha, thanks!!
      God bless you, too! <3

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  3. Dear Mr. Rochester *postscript*

    We women also don't appreciate your contemplating bigamy by proposing to marry us when you still do have the aforementioned wife-in-the-attic. It doesn't matter that she's mad. She's still your wife. Deal with it, sir.

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  4. THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

    You included Mr. Willoughby and I am Quite Content ;-) Really, words cannot describe how much I loathe and despise and detest that man. HE IS AWFUL. I can't compare him to all the other guys on this list because I don't know all of them; but he certainly is one of Jane Austen's worst villains. In fact, I will go further and say that he's worse than all JA's villains except for Mr. Elliot.

    That Jane Eyre meme is hilarious :-) I'm not a fan of Mr. Rochester, though. Not at all.

    You've got a good point about the whole staring-up-at-lighted-windows deal; it's supposed to be romantic but it's actually quite creepy. EVEN when a Handsome Hero does it. Find some other way of proving your Love and Fidelity and What-Not ;-)

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    1. You're quite welcome, Jessica! :D :D

      I never quite thought of Mr. Elliot as a villain, but I certainly do not like him one little bit. :P

      Haha, glad you thought so--even if you don't like Mr. Rochester. :)

      Yes, indeed! Certainly not very courageous or noble or honest!

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    2. Okay, so retraction--I totally think of Mr. Elliot as a villain now. I just got to the part of the book where Mrs. Smith tells Anne about his true character...they never went into it that much in the movie I've seen!

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    3. No, that's right, they didn't!!!!!!!! The 07 movie just makes Mr. Elliot kinda-sorta-annoying, whereas in reality he is an utterly cruel, callous, cold-blooded villain. *shakes head*

      I guess now you know why I'm always telling anybody who will listen that we really, really, REALLY need a better "Persuasion" adaptation :-)

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    4. I actually watch the 1995 Persuasion the most, and that one doesn't paint Mr. Elliot as very despicable either. :/

      Haha! I would certainly be up for more Jane Austen adaptions! I really would love it if they redid Mansfield Park. :)

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    5. YESSSSSSSSSSSSS. A MANSFIELD PARK REMAKE IS SORELY NEEDED. It's another one of her greatest novels; and all the movie adaptations so far are sooooooooooo bad.

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    6. I haven't seen any movie versions yet, but I currently have the 1983 and 2007 versions on hold at the library. We'll see what I think. :/ (I don't think I'll like the 2007 one, judging from the actors haha)

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  5. I'm giggling at my phone in the early hours of the morning.. many thanks :D

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    1. Heehee, I'm so glad! Thank YOU! :D

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  6. I love this! Especially the last one. x

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  7. Love it! Sigh. Such scurrilous rogues. Well, except Mr. Rochester, he's only half a rogue. And Mr. Thornton, of course, isn't a rogue at all, he's a princely example of gentlemanhood.

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    1. Thank you, Hamlette!! Yes, indeed. Perhaps "former rogue" is a good way to describe him.
      We totally agree on Mr. Thornton. :)

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  8. THAT MR. THORNTON ENDING WAS PERFECT.

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    1. Thanks, Phoebe! So glad you liked it. :D

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  9. Eeek. YOU DID IT! I was wondering when this post would be forthcoming. (Sorry I'm so late to comment, by the way. It's been a rather busy weekend. :P)

    First off, your comment about blushing made me smile. It really is so true. Blushing is totally a period drama-like thing to do. That and fainting, don't you know? ;) (By the by...I know this is beside the point...but have you fainted?)

    Ah. Mr. Guppy. I have yet to see that movie, but I can totally say, "Yes!" Having a guy like that hang out in the street below my window would totally be creepy. :/

    Oooh! Mr. Elton. He needs some SERIOUS help in learning how to be a gentleman. That's for sure. :P

    Oh my goodness!! MR. COLLINS! Yes, he is an impossible one. I mean, honestly, yes is yes, and no is no...can it be any simpler than that?? "ps. Stop waving like a little girl, it's most unbecoming in a man, especially a member of the clergy." HAHAHA! Good one!!

    I like your advice to Wickham. "Just...go away". *chuckle* Yes, indeed. Please do!! Also, I find it quite interesting that your advice to both him and Lydia was so short. It's almost as if they're beyond the reach of anyone's advice. Which is actually pretty true. There really isn't much you can do for those two, is there? ;)

    Oh, Willoughby. This time reading the book, I'm realizing more what a rat he is. :P "You really are perhaps the worst of Jane Austen's villains because you see where you've done wrong...and yet do nothing to correct it." That is a pretty profound statement, Natalie. And a very good observation. And yes, Marianne is definitely better off without him.

    That quote on the Mr. Rochester pictures...where is that from? Because it sounds VERY familiar. I like Mr. Rochester, too, but you're right he certainly does need some advice about being honest and telling the truth and all that. ;)

    Aww. One true gentleman amongst the not so gentlemanly. That was a very nice way to end the post, Natalie. And though I've said this before, I'll say it again...I really MUST watch North and South sometime. ;D

    Thanks for this fun post, Natalie!! I wish these "gentlemen" could truly profit from your advice. Because they certainly need it!! :D

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    1. Haha, not at all! It took me sooo long to get around to this, so don't feel bad at all for taking a couple days to comment!

      I have never fainted in my life. I'm not sure if I want to or not...it'd be an interesting experience. Kind of like Anne wanting to nearly drown. ;) Have you ever fainted?

      I hope you like the movie if you see it! I like it a lot, although there is one scene that we skip. :/

      Hahaha, I'm so glad you enjoyed all my letters. And yes! I noticed that to. I agree. I think they're pretty hopeless.

      Haha, thank you! I can't help my soft spot for Willoughby...I just really pity him. But, not to extent of excusing what he did. I just...wish he could have changed. :/

      Hmm, I'm not sure. I think it's a quote that is used on a lot of funny "memes" like that one. :)

      Aw, glad you thought so! And YES! You must!! :D

      I'm so happy you liked it!

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    2. Yes, I did faint...or almost faint...a few times when I was sick. Your head gets heavy, and everything starts to go black, and yeah, it's not really that romantic or anything. :P

      I hear you about Willoughby. I just re-watched S&S '95 and re-read the book, and for a bit there I was wondering why I DID pity him. (I actually don't pity him much at all in the movie.) But when I got to that last scene of him in the book, it hit me. I really do pity him. Not because he's unhappy with how things have turned out for him...not because I wish he'd gotten what he wanted...but because there IS potential for good in him (like in all of us), and I pity him for what he could have been, and for the good he could have done had he not cared only for himself. Yes, I really wish he could have changed, too. :/

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    3. Oh no! I'm so sorry. Yes, two friends of mine have fainted before, and they certainly did not say it was a romantic or fun experience. :(

      I agree, he's certainly not as pitiable in the movie as he is in the book. And love what you said about him--"there IS potential for good in him (like in all of us), and I pity him for what he could have been, and for the good he could have done had he not cared only for himself." Exactly!

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  10. Oh, this was splendid! You did it very well indeed. :)

    I especially loved the fact you added Mr. Guppy! He drove me crazy, both in the book AND the movie! Argh. He's just a bit too creepy stalker-ish.

    AND CARTER. EWW. NOTHING GOOD TO SAY ABOUT HIM. I enjoy despising him. :P

    That last line (with Mr. Thornton)! Perfection, my dear.

    ~Miss Meg

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    1. Thank you, Miss Meg!

      Yes!! Eek, he's so funny and odd (and a little pitiable) but sooo creepy.

      I enjoy despising him, too. :D

      Thank you. :)

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